I think my husband is trying to play with my mind. You may all remember that when I was pregnant with Sydney our furnace blew one night and started to fill the house with smoke. Of course, Brandon was conveniently out of town on business for this ordeal so I had to figure it all out myself. But wasn’t allowed to be near the fumes or in the house even. Luckily, I got a neighbor to come over and help me out but ended up having to sit in the freezing car for an hour waiting for the repair guy to show up. Well, this Monday and Tuesday Brandon was away on business again. Monday I had a big doctor’s appointment and was running around trying to get everything ready to go. When I came down the stairs I immediately noticed water spilled all over the entryway and the fish tank water was definitely down a good 6 inches. There was a very small leak in the front corner of the tank with a constant drip onto the floor, just what I needed to deal with. Luckily for me I had thrown the laundry over the balcony the night before so it was soaking up all the water. The clothes were soaked but at least it wasn’t just pooling on the floor through to the basement. I hurriedly called B and we decided that I should try to get as much water out as possible to relieve pressure on the tank. After taking it down about half way the leak stopped. Must be in the top part of the tank.
So I run to my appointment and end up being about 15 minutes late. Then I run to Petsmart to try and buy a replacement tank. But, they have no acrylic tanks in stock. We are not buying another glass tank because this could happen again. I then call all pet/aquarium stores in the entire Denver area and not a single store carries acrylic tanks in stock, you have to order them. Makes no sense to me. So, we have to order a tank which will take 2-4 weeks to arrive. What are we supposed to do with the fish until then? They are living in about 6 inches of water with no filtration. Lovely, just what we needed to worry about now. Like we don’t have enough on our plate over the next month.
Brandon has been whining about getting a nicer tank for the area but I didn’t want to spend the money. Seems awfully convenient to me. Though not sure why he had to sabotage the tank on my watch.


So, the extremely restless nights have begun because I am so uncomfortable at night with the backaches and about six pee breaks. As a result, I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. Here is one that I think needs to be shared and maybe someone can tell me what the heck this means. What do all of these things have to do with each other and how did my head make this all up?
It all starts in one of those kids wooden fort swing sets. Natalee, Brandon’s sister, has set up a radio talk show in the top of one of these play forts in our backyard. The entire idea of the show is for her to think of different ways to drop the F word in various sentences. Frank Sinatra has heard of this show and is outraged that it is allowed to be on the air. So he decides to stage a one man protest outside the fort. He now lives in our backyard constantly shouting at Natalee to come down. One of the attached fort accessory pieces is a church pew. Natalee’s parents are outraged by this show as well and have vowed to not stop praying until Natalee comes down from the fort and ceases her show. So they now also live in the backyard but are in a constant kneeling position on the church pew swaying back and forth to prayer. They have also hired a tactical team to climb up the fort and get Natalee down. Of course the two people chosen for this huge feat are my Dad and Mary. Backup a little here, the fort is about 30 feet tall and Natalee has thrown off all ladders and booby trapped the sides of the fort with lard so that no one could possibly climb to the top. But, Dad and Mary are unwilling to give up on a challenge and try nonstop to climb up the walls only to slide down once half way up.
Meanwhile, Brandon and I have decided that the fort bottom is in desperate need of a small built in refrigerator so that everyone keeps well quenched in the Colorado sun. But, we are unable to find a refrigerator that will fit in the pre-made fort refrigerator hole. So, we have hundreds of refrigerators delivered and we drag each one up to the hole, try to shove it in, and then move on to the next one, again and again.
Now, the fort bottom is only about 6’ by 6’ on the outside and has the added playhouse walls package. But, when you open the door it is actually a humongous house, with a very ritzy interior. Trying to make some extra money, Brandon and I rent it out to all of my Mom’s brothers and sisters as a vacation getaway. They each take one week rotations with their families and switch back and forth all year long. At this particular moment, my Uncle Rod is here with Julie and the kids. Their daughter Katie is making spaghetti and meatballs for dinner when all of a sudden she spills the spaghetti sauce all over the very expensive floor and cannot get up the stain. Rod walks in on this and panics because he doesn’t want the other renters to know he has ruined the floor. Katie starts crying and Rod is running around, with his arms flying around in the air, fearing his punishment by the family for ruining the floor.
Our friends, the Burkes, have heard of all this commotion going on in our yard and have decided to put an end to this right now. They have staged a two person protest rally on the back deck, megaphones and all, to get us kicked out of the neighborhood. But, nobody seems to pay any attention to them.
I think those are all the events going on at the playhouse, at least that I can remember. Now remember, all of these are going on simultaneously, over and over again, with no end in sight. And, its all going on in my backyard. Am I insane?

Opinions Needed, Quick

Syd and I checked out a Mom’s Day Out program today and she thought it was pretty cool. So we are enrolling her to start this Monday or Tuesday. She will go once a week for four hours with a total of 5 kids in her class with two teachers. They have LOTS of playtime mixed in with crafts, storytime, stroller rides, outdoor playtime, snacks and more playtime. Here is my dilema. Syd has music class on Tuesdays, which she loves, she has been with the same kids all year and enjoys seeing them each week. So, I was going to enroll her in the Monday Moms Day Out class. But, today I found out that the Monday class consists of all boys, Syd would be the only girl. The Tuesday class has two girls and one boy. Do you think its important for her to have other little girls to play with in her class, or does it not matter at this age? I could move her to another music class so she has girls in her MDO class, but then she would not be with those same kids anymore that she enjoys seeing each week. The MDO teachers say that the little boys in the Monday class are all really sweet and not rough with each other at all, so they think its no problem. And the kids at this age don’t tend to really play together much anyway. Also, the little girl in the Tuesday class actually pushed Syd over during our visit because she didn’t want her to share in craft time. The boy could care less what Syd did, never bothered her. She does seem to want to play with boys more now at the playgrounds since the girls tend to be more bossy, but she loves watching the girls play so she can copy them.
What should I do? Move music class so she has girls in MDO. Or leave her in the same music class and see how she does being the only girl? Both classes, music and MDO, end in the end of May so is it even long enough to worry about anyway?

Back on my Feet Again, Kinda

Oops, I did it again. On Sunday we were leaving IHOP for breakfast and were walking to the car. I stepped off the world’s smallest curb, maybe three inches tall, and completely twisted my ankle in this giant stepoff. I was just taking my time, walking slow, holding Syd’s hand and the ole ankle just gave out again. I have no idea what makes it go all of a sudden so I am getting nervous to walk at all.
This time I could tell something was wrong right away. The pain in my foot was horrible and I couldn’t stand up on my own at all. So, B put Syd in the car and I laid on the curb like a retard once again until he could drive around to me. Syd knew Mommy was hurt so she was really upset and was just bawling as Daddy took her away. The entire drive home she cried “Mommy Ouchie, Okay?” She was happy I was up and in the car but still very worried you could tell.
So, the last two days I have been sitting in my LaZBoy, not able to bear any weight on the foot. I am getting really tired of sitting around all day. I have been rolling around on the wheeled office chair downstars for bathroom runs and crawling to the toilet for my many nightly pees. Syd now thinks we are playing car with the chair and doggy with the crawling so she thinks its all pretty cool now. But, she is getting mad at me sitting all day so now she grabs my foot real tight and says, “My Foot.” She knows this gets me yelling in pain and does it only for the reaction I think. She wants me to know she does not want me sitting around anymore. Kids are so sympathetic to their sick parents.
I haven’t gone to the doctor, that’s for babies, but don’t think anything is really wrong. It has never swelled, was only slightly reddened the first day and is feeling better each day. Today, I can actually walk around as long as I don’t do too much at once. I think it will be back to normal by tomorrow. But, will it happen again?


I am getting more and more clumsy as my belly expands and the events are getting more and more embarassing. Last week I was going through Home Depot and once again Miss Syd decided she wanted to run away from me. We were in the lumber section and guys were everywhere with their big carts, not really expecting a little kid running around. So, I chased after her again, trying to be careful not to lose my footing. I was able to catch up to her this time but as soon as I went to pick her up, over I went, flat on the floor. My darn ankle just gave up on me and once she blows there is no stopping the large and awkward belly from following. Again, everyone just stared and no one offered to help. I think this is fall number four with this kid. I fell three times with Syd so not too bad for also chasing a toddler. Though, don’t think I know too many other preggies who fall alot. I must just be naturally clumsy.
Friday, I topped my most embarassing moment yet. Syd and I went to Schlotsky’s for lunch while running errands. The place was packed so I found a table and went to get our drinks. Syd was in her seat and I put the drinks on the table and tried to squeeze into the very tight chair. Just as I was about squeezed in, I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I had to struggle to turn around since the table was so tight so I leaned on the table with one hand and began turning. Unbeknownst to me, the table had one really short leg and as soon as I put my hand on the table the whole thing starting tipping over. Resulting in my very full soda pouring all over the place. Literally, went all down Syd’s chair and all over the floor. OK, now I am really embarassed. Can’t blame this on the kid. Syd immedialtely starting screaming, “Oh no, Momma..I wet”, over and over again. The woman who had tapped my shoulder felt really bad and immediately knelt down and started cleaning up the floor. A man from a few tables down also came right away to help her out. I ran to ask for a mop. When I got back to the table neither of the two people helping would allow me to get down and help, said they could handle it and didn’t want me kneeling on the floor. First truely nice people I have met in a long time. Turns out the woman was there with two kids of her own, only 11 months apart, and just wanted to talk. We talked the whole lunch and it was actually nice to have an adult conversation while you ate.
Still, I have come to handle the tripping in public but don’t think I am ready for these moments where I just make a complete ass of myself. I am getting increasingly airheaded as well, especially when hungry, so I have been doing really dumb things. Please make the next 7 weeks go fast!

Google This

Syd has really been wanting to play with other little kids lately so I have been taking her to the indoor play areas a lot more lately. But, the kids there must also be the only kids of stay at home Mom’s because they never know how to play with her. So she gets hurt feelings when they won’t play and comes whining back to me. So, I have been looking for a prechool, just one day a week for half a day. This would get her around other kids, without clinging to me, and maybe even get a chance to learn something from the teachers. I have heard of something in our area called Mom’s Day Out, half a day on Friday’s just what I wanted. I thought it was run by the group called Mothers of Preschoolers, known as Mops. So, I go to google like I always do and google the word mops. This is the picture that you get on the top of the search page. Hmmm, what does this random butthole have to do with preschoolers???


I can top that one still. My nephew, Christian, has broke out with the Scabies. We were told to watch out for them on Syd since she was around Christian during the gestation period. To fill you in, scabies are skin mites that nest under your skin causing a red bumpy rash. So, yesterday Brandon had said red bumps all over his right hand. He was freaking out that it was scabies so went to google, searched for scabies, and then I heard the screams. You get tons of picture of limp penis’ covered in huge red bumps. Needless, to say it was disguisting, but you couldn’t help but stare at the penis.
I will spare you those penis pictures but feel free to search for them yourself if you want a good body shiver. Makes you think you are itching all over.


Everything is starting to hurt these last couple of weeks. My ankles have been killing me with any amount of walking, making it really hard to keep up with Syd. I can feel something crack inside the ankle joint with every step. I have figured out that if I lift my leg up really high and kinda march when the pain starts it works out the kinks. Can you imagine how retarded this looks? I try to play it off like I am playing with Syd, but I still get the curious looks. My Dad has the worse ankles in the world so this is a little inside view of his world, sucks! Maybe I can get Syd to walk on my ankles like we did for Dad as kids.
Just in the last couple of days the pain is starting to move to my knees as well. Can’t work this one out as easily. Even better, I am getting those awful leg cramps in the middle of the night if I move too fast. I had these horrible with Syd so at least these are starting later in the pregnancy this time. But, I absolultey hate them. They start really slow and then increase in intensity until your whole leg is tightened up. Only way to get rid of them is to walk around, half asleep of course. I must be releasing that hormone that loosens up your joints for labor. Not sure why your body thinks your ankles need loosened to squeeze a kid out of your vagina 😉
I think its definitely time to start doing some laps at the pool. Used to make me feel so much better with Syd and the water makes me think I am not quite as fat as I really am. Only problem is that the gym’s daycare won’t take kids until they are two, hmmm, what to do?


When we first decided on a builder to finish our basement he told us all the things we would need to pick out and have ordered by what dates in order to not slow down construction. Since we would really like to have this done as close to baby time as possible we got right on our list and had plenty of time to get everything done in time. As I have ranted before, the cabinets which were my job were a royal pain in the butt. Two hours at each of the 4 quotes I got and the quotes were everywhere. Trying one more time, I found a store that sells the same cabinets we have in the kitchen and asked him to quote me as well. I thought these would be way out of the ballpark when compared to Home Depot cabinets so I didn’t hold my breath. Brandon really wanted these cabinets so I waited patiently for my quote until I preceeded on my choice. Two weeks later, still no quote. We were in California at the time so I didn’t call to follow up on him since I figured it was home on the fax. We get home, no fax, so I call. “Oh, your name sounds familiar”, he said, “let me look into it.” Next call, “I found your folder, but completely forgot about you, if I have lost your business I understand.” Huh, is this what you tell customers. Very annoyed at this point but wanting the quote I ask him to send me a quote by the next day. I get the quote, its a blank piece of paper with a dollar amount, no details on what I am getting. So I call and ask for the details. He said, “Its exactly what you asked for” and acted like I was being difficult. The quote was half the price of the others so you see my desire for details. Ok, so I tell him I would like to move on these so asked for an invoice to be faxed over. One week later, I get an invoice and guess what, the cabinets are not what was on my drawing and he is missing entire cabinets all together. So I call him and give him the changes and ask for a detailed drawing this time. Another few days pass and I get the drawing, still not right. I am now wondering if this is really hard work or if I am being difficult to work with, don’t think so, everyone else tells me I am pretty easy going. After all, its just an 8 foot bar, 7 cabinets, not a big project. Oh, in the meantime, I find out we get these at cost at this store with my builder, lowering the price even more. Gotta try to be nice and get this done.
Next I went to the cabinet website to see the options I had just in case it really was that difficult to put together. The website had software to allow you to layout all cabinets from those available and even print out a bill of materials for you at the end. It was really easy to put together, took maybe 20 minutes. Cool, I faxed him the Bill of Materials, with all SKU numbers listed and asked him to quote these exact cabinets. One week later, I get the finally detailed quote with cabinet numbers listed and a drawing. Wow, I was happy. Wait, what the $%^^&!! The SKU numbers are not at all what I faxed over on half the cabinets. Ok, I need to get this moving, the kid is an absolute idiot, I now have a huge headache and just cannot take it anymore. He changed the cabinet widths, why??? the actual drawing he sent me for this new configuration had a 16 inch gap in the middle of the base cabinets. What am I supposed to do with a 16 inch gap, is this normal, could he not have noticed this huge gap, Idiot?!
Done with you. I faxed the Bill of Materials over to another dealer, which was hard to find, and within 24 hours I had a quote, detailed and all correct. The price was within range of what the Idiot gave me, but for all correct items, so I can see Idiot wasn’t giving me my discount either. I had asked Idiot if he was giving me my discount about 30 times. Idiot is not only an Idiot but a liar. The next day I faxed the Idiot one more time, now sounding more annoyed. I waited until the end of the week for a response. I felt bad since I had put a month in with Idiot and could possibly save a lot of money here. No response from Idiot at all. So, I ordered from the capable dealer, probably spent at least $500 more, but am confident I will get what I actually ordered. Idiot probably would have sent me bathroom cabinets.
I just do not understand how people like this actually keep their jobs. Why would a manager allow Idiot to blow off customers like this and be absolutely incapable in his job? At least my headache is going away and I think the cabinets will be here in time. Still just annoys the crap out of me that I wasted so much of my life with Idiot. I think every now and again I need to turn a little Herbie on inside of me to get things done with people like this. Idiot would not have stood a chance.